What I've Learned In Life

Today is my 41st birthday so I thought I would reflect upon things that my 41 years on this earth have taught me. On January, 8, 2010 at 7:45 AM I started this when I turned 37. At that time, my list contained the first 21 items. Today I added another 20.

1) Patience.

2) Independence.

3) The only one that is going to take care of ME is ME!

4) Stand up for myself.

5) Amanda helped teach me that it was ok to talk to strangers - LOL (she wouldn't always do it for me in life).

6) If I want it - better work hard to get it.

7) There is no greater joy than the relationships in my life (family, friends, strangers, etc.) because they provide something intangible.

8) How to be successful at leading (although I can't always articulate this).

9) All intimate relationships require 2 people's efforts.

10) Marriages/Long term commitments require both a sexual attraction and a friendship (or level of compatibility) for success.

11) To be open minded and non judgmental.

12) It's a lot of fun being a grand parent.

13) How to say I'm sorry & when to do it.

14) Treat others like I want to be treated.

15) I can choose to view life as a glass "half full" or a glass "half empty" and I choose "half full" - make the most of EVERY situation, bad or good.

16) Things happen for a reason - examine it and view different perspectives, what does each event tell me about myself?

17) Faith - everyone should have some sort of faith because your trust and belief in the unknown will provide a roadmap for life and help you thru many trials.

18) The 'significant other' you choose should have same/similar views on moral/ethical issues and parenting (if you plan to have children) for success.

19) Lead by example - someone is always watching you and your actions speak louder than your words.

20) Life can end at any moment - you should always be prepared because when that moment arrives you won't get second chances.

21) View things from the other person's shoes - look at their perspective, sometimes they are giving 150% of what they are capable of and just because it's not the same as yours - doesn't mean it's wrong.

22) God gives us free will and I need to remember that.

23) I need to have realistic expectations.

24) Life is about choices.

25) My pet peeves are IRRESPONSIBILITY and LYING. I would always rather you tell me the truth NO MATTER how bad it is than to lie to me.

26) I'm a free spirit.

27) I despise being controlled. This is much different than me choosing to follow rules or adhering. With control, I have no choice - my freedom has been removed.

28) Persistence. Don't give up! Of course, this requires balance with number 23.

29) It could ALWAYS be worse (this relates to number 15) and sometimes you need to look at the worst case scenario to keep things in perspective and to appreciate the positive of the situation.

30) I've learned not to worry about what others think of me. This should not be confused with your reputation and you should use your integrity to help guide you with this.

31) I love animals and nature.

32) I believe life is a 'zig zag' in the big picture.

33) We can learn a lot from those that are older and younger than us. Our elders teach us wisdom and the younger generation keeps us current. Embrace both.

34) We are a sum of environment, genetics, and life experiences.

35) I am very intuitive and I should listen to that 'little voice inside' because it is almost always right.

36) You don't have a soul, you are a soul, you have a body.

37) Laughter truly is some of the best medicine.

38) None of us are perfect, we all have faults because we are human. It is how we deal with those that count.

39) Sometimes you have to let go and live in the moment.

40) Even if you don't like someone, you can probably learn something from this. If nothing else, you learn what you don't like.

41) Enjoy and savor the little things in life because they may become big things at some point.

The 12th Anniversary

12 years ago today, I experienced the beauty and destruction of humanity, while witnessing history. I also learned many things, some of which I'm sure I have yet to discover or discern. I learned what it is like to stand in line to die. I learned what motivates me to get out of bed every morning. I learned what true faith & spirituality are. I learned about unconditional love and lasting friendship. I learned about how thankful I am for the individuals that go to work daily to make me feel safe. I learned that the world is not always a nice place. I learned that I can be hated by a total stranger for reasons I'll never understand. I learned that you always have a choice about whether you view things in a positive manner or a negative one. I learned that if you allow hatred to consume you, it will. I learned that nobility doesn't really matter. I learned that what you are taught as a small child NEVER really leaves you. I learned that even though you might feel all alone, you never really are totally alone. I learned that in your darkest hour, you can find inspiration. I learned that in the midst of the darkness, you can find the light. I learned the light WILL be there so keep searching. I learned the true definition of altruistic and benevolent. I learned to appreciate my body, imperfections and all. I learned to appreciate the fact that I was born in the United States of America. I learned to be even more patient. I learned to trust my instincts. I learned to play the hand that I am dealt in life to the very best of my ability. I learned if I think I'm going to die, I will gladly drink from a stranger's cup. I sent a note to my grown step children this morning telling them that I am so glad I didn't succumb to weakness and my desire to sit down because I wouldn't have had the opportunity to be involved in their lives and to know them. We take for granted our mortality. As a U.S. citizen, I know I take for granted the rights and freedoms (no matter what I might think of politics) that my forefathers fought so hard for. I'm positive that if I would have been born geographically in another part of the world I would likely not be alive now. I'm pretty sure that I would have been beheaded or stoned to death because of my strong willed, independent, free-spirited soul. Each anniversary brings more insight and wisdom for me albeit not my preferred method of education.