It has been 13 years since that pivotal point in my life. I vowed that I would not allow it to define me and I think I've done fairly well about carving out my journey on life's path with that day merely representing a date on the timeline. A big spot, but none the less, just a spot or mark along the way.
I knew I needed to get out of the stairwell alive because my daughter needed her mother. Intellectually, I knew that she would be taken care of if I were to perish but something nagged at me about her specifically needing my guidance. It was what kept me going that day. Who would have known what the next 13 years would bring in life? Such ups and downs but filled with great despair and joys - very rich. I recently read about studies that have linked resiliency to allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Thus far, I would say that my experience on September 11, 2001 has made me the most vulnerable of any of the things I've encountered in life.
I often struggle to keep my faith and spirituality in perspective and remember that God is ALWAYS in control, even when I don't think so. My personality tends to make me want to take charge and sometimes he has to remind me that I'm over stepping into his territory. In the last 13 years, I have seen many things that God decided I still needed to experience in life - deaths, births, career changes, tragic accidents to loved ones, sending a family member to fight in a war, parenting struggles, new generations created, physical moves, faith and spiritual growth, and the list just goes on...
To my friends and family, thank you for unconditional love and understanding.
To those that gave their lives so I could go home - thank you will never be enough.
To those that lost loved ones - my heart weeps and I'm so terribly sorry for your loss. I will never forget the sacrifices your family has made. To the men & women that fight for my freedom - I admire you and appreciate your service to our country.
To my fellow survivors, thank you for not letting others 'forget' that day and for your strength and resilience.
Thursday, September 11, 2014
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
What I've Learned In Life
Today is my 41st birthday so I thought I would reflect upon things that my 41 years on this earth have taught me. On January, 8, 2010 at 7:45 AM I started this when I turned 37. At that time, my list contained the first 21 items. Today I added another 20.
1) Patience.
2) Independence.
3) The only one that is going to take care of ME is ME!
4) Stand up for myself.
5) Amanda helped teach me that it was ok to talk to strangers - LOL (she wouldn't always do it for me in life).
6) If I want it - better work hard to get it.
7) There is no greater joy than the relationships in my life (family, friends, strangers, etc.) because they provide something intangible.
8) How to be successful at leading (although I can't always articulate this).
9) All intimate relationships require 2 people's efforts.
10) Marriages/Long term commitments require both a sexual attraction and a friendship (or level of compatibility) for success.
11) To be open minded and non judgmental.
12) It's a lot of fun being a grand parent.
13) How to say I'm sorry & when to do it.
14) Treat others like I want to be treated.
15) I can choose to view life as a glass "half full" or a glass "half empty" and I choose "half full" - make the most of EVERY situation, bad or good.
16) Things happen for a reason - examine it and view different perspectives, what does each event tell me about myself?
17) Faith - everyone should have some sort of faith because your trust and belief in the unknown will provide a roadmap for life and help you thru many trials.
18) The 'significant other' you choose should have same/similar views on moral/ethical issues and parenting (if you plan to have children) for success.
19) Lead by example - someone is always watching you and your actions speak louder than your words.
20) Life can end at any moment - you should always be prepared because when that moment arrives you won't get second chances.
21) View things from the other person's shoes - look at their perspective, sometimes they are giving 150% of what they are capable of and just because it's not the same as yours - doesn't mean it's wrong.
22) God gives us free will and I need to remember that.
23) I need to have realistic expectations.
24) Life is about choices.
25) My pet peeves are IRRESPONSIBILITY and LYING. I would always rather you tell me the truth NO MATTER how bad it is than to lie to me.
26) I'm a free spirit.
27) I despise being controlled. This is much different than me choosing to follow rules or adhering. With control, I have no choice - my freedom has been removed.
28) Persistence. Don't give up! Of course, this requires balance with number 23.
29) It could ALWAYS be worse (this relates to number 15) and sometimes you need to look at the worst case scenario to keep things in perspective and to appreciate the positive of the situation.
30) I've learned not to worry about what others think of me. This should not be confused with your reputation and you should use your integrity to help guide you with this.
31) I love animals and nature.
32) I believe life is a 'zig zag' in the big picture.
33) We can learn a lot from those that are older and younger than us. Our elders teach us wisdom and the younger generation keeps us current. Embrace both.
34) We are a sum of environment, genetics, and life experiences.
35) I am very intuitive and I should listen to that 'little voice inside' because it is almost always right.
36) You don't have a soul, you are a soul, you have a body.
37) Laughter truly is some of the best medicine.
38) None of us are perfect, we all have faults because we are human. It is how we deal with those that count.
39) Sometimes you have to let go and live in the moment.
40) Even if you don't like someone, you can probably learn something from this. If nothing else, you learn what you don't like.
41) Enjoy and savor the little things in life because they may become big things at some point.
1) Patience.
2) Independence.
3) The only one that is going to take care of ME is ME!
4) Stand up for myself.
5) Amanda helped teach me that it was ok to talk to strangers - LOL (she wouldn't always do it for me in life).
6) If I want it - better work hard to get it.
7) There is no greater joy than the relationships in my life (family, friends, strangers, etc.) because they provide something intangible.
8) How to be successful at leading (although I can't always articulate this).
9) All intimate relationships require 2 people's efforts.
10) Marriages/Long term commitments require both a sexual attraction and a friendship (or level of compatibility) for success.
11) To be open minded and non judgmental.
12) It's a lot of fun being a grand parent.
13) How to say I'm sorry & when to do it.
14) Treat others like I want to be treated.
15) I can choose to view life as a glass "half full" or a glass "half empty" and I choose "half full" - make the most of EVERY situation, bad or good.
16) Things happen for a reason - examine it and view different perspectives, what does each event tell me about myself?
17) Faith - everyone should have some sort of faith because your trust and belief in the unknown will provide a roadmap for life and help you thru many trials.
18) The 'significant other' you choose should have same/similar views on moral/ethical issues and parenting (if you plan to have children) for success.
19) Lead by example - someone is always watching you and your actions speak louder than your words.
20) Life can end at any moment - you should always be prepared because when that moment arrives you won't get second chances.
21) View things from the other person's shoes - look at their perspective, sometimes they are giving 150% of what they are capable of and just because it's not the same as yours - doesn't mean it's wrong.
22) God gives us free will and I need to remember that.
23) I need to have realistic expectations.
24) Life is about choices.
25) My pet peeves are IRRESPONSIBILITY and LYING. I would always rather you tell me the truth NO MATTER how bad it is than to lie to me.
26) I'm a free spirit.
27) I despise being controlled. This is much different than me choosing to follow rules or adhering. With control, I have no choice - my freedom has been removed.
28) Persistence. Don't give up! Of course, this requires balance with number 23.
29) It could ALWAYS be worse (this relates to number 15) and sometimes you need to look at the worst case scenario to keep things in perspective and to appreciate the positive of the situation.
30) I've learned not to worry about what others think of me. This should not be confused with your reputation and you should use your integrity to help guide you with this.
31) I love animals and nature.
32) I believe life is a 'zig zag' in the big picture.
33) We can learn a lot from those that are older and younger than us. Our elders teach us wisdom and the younger generation keeps us current. Embrace both.
34) We are a sum of environment, genetics, and life experiences.
35) I am very intuitive and I should listen to that 'little voice inside' because it is almost always right.
36) You don't have a soul, you are a soul, you have a body.
37) Laughter truly is some of the best medicine.
38) None of us are perfect, we all have faults because we are human. It is how we deal with those that count.
39) Sometimes you have to let go and live in the moment.
40) Even if you don't like someone, you can probably learn something from this. If nothing else, you learn what you don't like.
41) Enjoy and savor the little things in life because they may become big things at some point.
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