Parenting

I often say that parenting doesn't come with a manual.  When you leave the hospital, they make sure your car seat is legal and the newborn is properly strapped in but no one hands you a thick instruction manual explaining what is ahead of you.

Your newborn is totally dependent upon you.  They sleep most of the time and the rest is spent eating, crying, or peeing & pooping.  They grow quickly and change rapidly, eagerly learning about the world around them.  Before you know it they are a toddler.

When they reach the toddler years they are really in education overdrive.  Everything is a new experience.  Whatever they touch goes into their mouth and they experience impulsive behavior and lots of temper tantrums.  Personally, I really enjoyed the ages of 18 months to 2+ years but most call them the terrible twos.  You have to be energetic to keep up with them at this age.  Before long, they are learning about autonomy and their sense of self.  They want to assert their independence and every small task can be battle of wills.  As a parent, you have to quickly learn to pick your battles.

Next comes preschool and kindergarten where they are introduced to social situations and other children that differ from them.  As they grow, they learn to read and do math.  They will ask lots of questions and sometimes they are tough ones.  Sometimes you don't know the answer (this is really when that manual could come in handy) and have to think strategically before you reply.

Your child grows and their personality continues to develop.  You begin to see the characteristics of their personality emerge.  Before you know it you're knee deep in birthday parties, sleep overs, sports, scouting, friends, social activities, and the list goes on.  You learn to be a mediator and learn to navigate how to teach your child about the world.  They are transforming before your very eyes.

One day you wake up and realize your child is becoming a teenager (usually referred to as a tween) and depending on the world around them and the generation, this takes on a different meaning.  From my experience, this typically comes quicker with girls than it does with boys.  One day your having a tea party with her or playing barbie dolls and the next day she's worried about clothes, makeup and her hair.  For boys, the transition is typically a little slower and their body starts to change (puberty) before they realize what is going on.  Then comes the struggle of teaching them about personal hygiene and discussions that you've always dreaded about the birds and the bees.  This will undoubtedly bring more  questions that you're not sure how to answer and wish you had that manual.

Before long, you find yourself in the drama of middle school and then high school.  That baby that you brought home from the hospital without a manual is transforming into an adult and you pray that you've done all of the right things.  Your teen learns to drive (another scary adventure), starts dating, contends with social pressures and you are now responsible to offer guidance and hope that you've laid a good foundation.  There will be lots of long discussions and you'll realize your child is now an individual with their own thoughts, ideas, etc. and they are test-driving them on you!  This stage can be a balancing act.  In a span of 5 minutes that teen can hate you and then love and need you.  Buckle up because it is going to be a wild ride.  You'll help them make decisions about their future (college, etc.) and hopefully watch them graduate from high school.

Now your child is an adult.  Parenting an adult child is different than parenting a newborn, baby, toddler, adolescent, tween, or teenager.  They are now responsible for themselves and their own decisions.  Hopefully by this time you've paved the road to a good relationship, one where they can call you in times of need or when they want someone to listen.  Sometimes it is a late night phone call for guidance or advice that you'll receive but whatever it is, you'll discover the evolution your relationship has taken.