I often say that parenting doesn't come with a manual. When you leave the hospital, they make sure your car seat is legal and the newborn is properly strapped in but no one hands you a thick instruction manual explaining what is ahead of you.
Your newborn is totally dependent upon you. They sleep most of the time and the rest is spent eating, crying, or peeing & pooping. They grow quickly and change rapidly, eagerly learning about the world around them. Before you know it they are a toddler.
When they reach the toddler years they are really in education overdrive. Everything is a new experience. Whatever they touch goes into their mouth and they experience impulsive behavior and lots of temper tantrums. Personally, I really enjoyed the ages of 18 months to 2+ years but most call them the terrible twos. You have to be energetic to keep up with them at this age. Before long, they are learning about autonomy and their sense of self. They want to assert their independence and every small task can be battle of wills. As a parent, you have to quickly learn to pick your battles.
Next comes preschool and kindergarten where they are introduced to social situations and other children that differ from them. As they grow, they learn to read and do math. They will ask lots of questions and sometimes they are tough ones. Sometimes you don't know the answer (this is really when that manual could come in handy) and have to think strategically before you reply.
Your child grows and their personality continues to develop. You begin to see the characteristics of their personality emerge. Before you know it you're knee deep in birthday parties, sleep overs, sports, scouting, friends, social activities, and the list goes on. You learn to be a mediator and learn to navigate how to teach your child about the world. They are transforming before your very eyes.
One day you wake up and realize your child is becoming a teenager (usually referred to as a tween) and depending on the world around them and the generation, this takes on a different meaning. From my experience, this typically comes quicker with girls than it does with boys. One day your having a tea party with her or playing barbie dolls and the next day she's worried about clothes, makeup and her hair. For boys, the transition is typically a little slower and their body starts to change (puberty) before they realize what is going on. Then comes the struggle of teaching them about personal hygiene and discussions that you've always dreaded about the birds and the bees. This will undoubtedly bring more questions that you're not sure how to answer and wish you had that manual.
Before long, you find yourself in the drama of middle school and then high school. That baby that you brought home from the hospital without a manual is transforming into an adult and you pray that you've done all of the right things. Your teen learns to drive (another scary adventure), starts dating, contends with social pressures and you are now responsible to offer guidance and hope that you've laid a good foundation. There will be lots of long discussions and you'll realize your child is now an individual with their own thoughts, ideas, etc. and they are test-driving them on you! This stage can be a balancing act. In a span of 5 minutes that teen can hate you and then love and need you. Buckle up because it is going to be a wild ride. You'll help them make decisions about their future (college, etc.) and hopefully watch them graduate from high school.
Now your child is an adult. Parenting an adult child is different than parenting a newborn, baby, toddler, adolescent, tween, or teenager. They are now responsible for themselves and their own decisions. Hopefully by this time you've paved the road to a good relationship, one where they can call you in times of need or when they want someone to listen. Sometimes it is a late night phone call for guidance or advice that you'll receive but whatever it is, you'll discover the evolution your relationship has taken.
Monday, November 12, 2012
Saturday, November 10, 2012
The 30 Days of Thanksgiving
On Facebook several of the posts are for something that many are participating in called the 30 Days of Thanksgiving. I was a little late to get started but plan to keep a complete list of mine. I think it is a great idea and definitely a positive daily affirmation that will improve one's optimistic vantage point in life.
November 1, 2012 - Day 1: I'm thankful my surgery went well.
November 2, 2012 - Day 2: I'm thankful that all of my friends and loved ones on the NE coast are safe from Hurricane Sandy.
November 3, 2012 - Day 3: I'm thankful for my husband's assistance with my surgical wound.
November 4, 2012 - Day 4: I'm thankful that I enjoy the beauty of the Autumn leaves.
November 5, 2012 - Day 5: I'm thankful for my doggies.
November 6, 2012 - Day 6: I'm thankful I was born in America and I can exercise my right to vote!
November 7, 2012 - Day 7: I'm thankful the election is finally OVER!
November 8, 2012 - Day 8: I'm thankful for my new brother-in-law, Jamie Rasberry.
November 9, 2012 - Day 9: I'm eternally grateful to everyone that helped save my life and get home safely from New York City on Tuesday, September 11, 2001. There is no greater love than what I experienced at that time from friends, family and strangers. That love outweighs anything the terrorists were trying to accomplish!
November 10, 2012 - Day 10: I'm thankful for the hidden opportunities that God gives me to help others. They are usually problems in disguise and I'm glad that I have the opportunity to help out when someone is going through them.
November 11, 2012 - Day 11: I'm thankful for all of the brave men and women that fight (and have fought) for my freedom. I'm thankful for their friends and family and the support that it requires from them as well. Happy Veteran's Day!
November 12, 2012 - Day 12: I'm thankful that God blessed me with the opportunity to be a mother & parent. I have 4 wonderful children (Casey, Kevan, Alecia, and Catie) and I'm grateful God trusted me to be a part of their lives.
November 13, 2012 - Day 13: I'm thankful for all of my friends but today I'm especially thankful for our friend Carl. He's been such a great friend to my husband for many years (and partner in crime as he says). At his mother's visitation last night, he stood so stoic (as usual) next to her casket greeting visitors (friends & family). He had lovingly cared for her until she left this earth. At the funeral home, my daughter said, "He's a really good actor. I could never do that. I can see in his face that he wants to cry." My husband replied to her, "Carl has always had the ability to rise to the occasion no matter what it is. That is just who he is."
Carl ~ you are a great friend, one with deep rooted family values, good morals and ethics. You are a wonderful role model to younger generations. I know you don't use FB or social media so you'll never see this (nor would you want to hear it) but thank you for being YOU!
November 14, 2012 - Day 14: I'm thankful for simplicity today! After spending hours dealing with complex things, I'm thankful for the simple things in life!
November 15, 2012 - Day 15: I'm thankful for my husband's gift to summarize confusing topics (historical issues, politics, etc.) for me.
November 16, 2012 - Day 16: I'm thankful for my creative and artistic abilities. My creative side has always been an escape for me, my vice in life. It is a way for me to decompress, relax, express myself, share my thoughts and views, and share something special with others. From photography to drawing & painting, from sewing & crafting to needlework - I am thankful for my ability to have something inside of me that I can immediately call upon to provide me with calmness, solace and peace when needed.
November 17, 2012 - Day 17: I'm thankful that I went on that first date with my husband 12 years ago!
November 18, 2012 - Day 18: I'm thankful that my wound appears to finally be on the mends!
November 19, 2012 - Day 19: I'm thankful for laughter and a sense of humor. There are days when it is the best medicine in the world for me.
November 20, 2012 - Day 20: I'm thankful that Catie finally got her braces off! All the trips to the orthodontist & pain has paid off for a beautiful smile. 33 months well spent.
November 21, 2012 - Day 21: I'm thankful that I've been able to return to work this week [and survive] so my fellow co-workers (mgmt) will be able to take an additional day off (Black Friday) so they can spend time with their friends & families! They have been super about helping me out and I'm so thankful that I can be there to cover for them by returning the favor & expressing my gratitude for their support.
November 22, 2012 - Day 22: (Thanksgiving Day) I'm thankful for all of the LOVE in my life! Last night I talked with Catie about some that are not as fortunate to have the love that we have (from friends, family & even strangers) and I'm very grateful that we have lots of it! Happy Thanksgiving to each of you. I hope that you get to wrap yourself in love, happiness and good feelings today!
November 23, 2012 - Day 23: I'm thankful that it is the last day of a short work week!
November 24, 2012 - Day 24: I'm thankful for family (all forms of it)!
November 1, 2012 - Day 1: I'm thankful my surgery went well.
November 2, 2012 - Day 2: I'm thankful that all of my friends and loved ones on the NE coast are safe from Hurricane Sandy.
November 3, 2012 - Day 3: I'm thankful for my husband's assistance with my surgical wound.
November 4, 2012 - Day 4: I'm thankful that I enjoy the beauty of the Autumn leaves.
November 5, 2012 - Day 5: I'm thankful for my doggies.
November 6, 2012 - Day 6: I'm thankful I was born in America and I can exercise my right to vote!
November 7, 2012 - Day 7: I'm thankful the election is finally OVER!
November 8, 2012 - Day 8: I'm thankful for my new brother-in-law, Jamie Rasberry.
November 9, 2012 - Day 9: I'm eternally grateful to everyone that helped save my life and get home safely from New York City on Tuesday, September 11, 2001. There is no greater love than what I experienced at that time from friends, family and strangers. That love outweighs anything the terrorists were trying to accomplish!
November 10, 2012 - Day 10: I'm thankful for the hidden opportunities that God gives me to help others. They are usually problems in disguise and I'm glad that I have the opportunity to help out when someone is going through them.
November 11, 2012 - Day 11: I'm thankful for all of the brave men and women that fight (and have fought) for my freedom. I'm thankful for their friends and family and the support that it requires from them as well. Happy Veteran's Day!
November 12, 2012 - Day 12: I'm thankful that God blessed me with the opportunity to be a mother & parent. I have 4 wonderful children (Casey, Kevan, Alecia, and Catie) and I'm grateful God trusted me to be a part of their lives.
November 13, 2012 - Day 13: I'm thankful for all of my friends but today I'm especially thankful for our friend Carl. He's been such a great friend to my husband for many years (and partner in crime as he says). At his mother's visitation last night, he stood so stoic (as usual) next to her casket greeting visitors (friends & family). He had lovingly cared for her until she left this earth. At the funeral home, my daughter said, "He's a really good actor. I could never do that. I can see in his face that he wants to cry." My husband replied to her, "Carl has always had the ability to rise to the occasion no matter what it is. That is just who he is."
Carl ~ you are a great friend, one with deep rooted family values, good morals and ethics. You are a wonderful role model to younger generations. I know you don't use FB or social media so you'll never see this (nor would you want to hear it) but thank you for being YOU!
November 14, 2012 - Day 14: I'm thankful for simplicity today! After spending hours dealing with complex things, I'm thankful for the simple things in life!
November 15, 2012 - Day 15: I'm thankful for my husband's gift to summarize confusing topics (historical issues, politics, etc.) for me.
November 16, 2012 - Day 16: I'm thankful for my creative and artistic abilities. My creative side has always been an escape for me, my vice in life. It is a way for me to decompress, relax, express myself, share my thoughts and views, and share something special with others. From photography to drawing & painting, from sewing & crafting to needlework - I am thankful for my ability to have something inside of me that I can immediately call upon to provide me with calmness, solace and peace when needed.
November 17, 2012 - Day 17: I'm thankful that I went on that first date with my husband 12 years ago!
November 18, 2012 - Day 18: I'm thankful that my wound appears to finally be on the mends!
November 19, 2012 - Day 19: I'm thankful for laughter and a sense of humor. There are days when it is the best medicine in the world for me.
November 20, 2012 - Day 20: I'm thankful that Catie finally got her braces off! All the trips to the orthodontist & pain has paid off for a beautiful smile. 33 months well spent.
November 21, 2012 - Day 21: I'm thankful that I've been able to return to work this week [and survive] so my fellow co-workers (mgmt) will be able to take an additional day off (Black Friday) so they can spend time with their friends & families! They have been super about helping me out and I'm so thankful that I can be there to cover for them by returning the favor & expressing my gratitude for their support.
November 22, 2012 - Day 22: (Thanksgiving Day) I'm thankful for all of the LOVE in my life! Last night I talked with Catie about some that are not as fortunate to have the love that we have (from friends, family & even strangers) and I'm very grateful that we have lots of it! Happy Thanksgiving to each of you. I hope that you get to wrap yourself in love, happiness and good feelings today!
November 23, 2012 - Day 23: I'm thankful that it is the last day of a short work week!
November 24, 2012 - Day 24: I'm thankful for family (all forms of it)!
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